I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize
