Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Randomize