very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Randomize
