Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
