Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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