We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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