3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Randomize
