Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
