I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
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