Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
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