It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Randomize
