I feel like I'm in dance class right now
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
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