is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
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