guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
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