She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
BRING THE BAGELS
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Randomize
