Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
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