New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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