Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
Randomize
