Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
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