He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Randomize
