I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
