Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
Randomize
