I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Randomize
