is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
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