We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Randomize
