Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Randomize
