I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
