I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
Randomize
