He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Randomize
