I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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