...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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