oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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