She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
