Three words: puerto rican gang bang
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Randomize
