just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
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