People with herpes should wear stickers.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
