Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
