She announced her abortion via fbk
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
