you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
