She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
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