considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Randomize
