I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
