you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Randomize
