Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
