I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
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