I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
