The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
