He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Randomize
