Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
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