If i could tip my vagina, i would.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
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