After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Randomize
