As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Randomize
