New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Randomize
