what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
