I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
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