so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Randomize
