Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
