My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
they're like a gay fantastic four
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Randomize
