At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Randomize
