I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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