Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
