I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
