You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Randomize
